Putting A Penis in A Vagina Usually Ends in A Baby

First off, there's no way I or anyone else affiliated with this blog can provide answers on getting partners to tattoo your name on themselves. I can only recommend a good friend of ours, who incidentally, can get bitches to tattoo his name on themselves and say I Love You within a span of 2 weeks. This good friend of ours that I speak of is of course, Bret Michaels. He can be reached at ===//* ... hold on, my number pad is acting up... ==''][ - ok, one more try; Bret's phone number is ^@^&^ ... alright well, sorry folks The Powers That Be are not interested in me sharing that information. Perhaps next time.

Onward to the most important piece of gossip I've heard all year, courtesy of my fellow fatso, Perez Hilton:

What's That You Say About Jamie Lynn's Baby?

To be fair, if I were Casey, I'd take a bajillionty dollars to say I was the father. It's a win-win situation folks, A. People think I banged Jamie Lynn Spears and B. Now I'm a rich heifer. Life is good, all because some 45 year old Disney exec let loose his Daddy/girl fantasy statutory rape style.

Oh man, if it's true, no matter how fucked (no pun intended) Jamie Lynn's career may be, that Disney exec is going to paying OUT THE ASS to ensure no one knows and he don't go to the pokey.

I love stupid celebrities.

How to Get Bitches to Tattoo Your Name on Themselves

I am not the in-house expert on today's subject matter but I had to start the blog out this way because it's fucking hilarious. And if you don't think misogyny and sexism are hysterical, you're obviously not the caliber of person it takes to hold such genius that Betty Rocks and I share.

You'll know when Betty Rocks is blogging as there will be spelling errors, typos, and grammatical errors intended to set off your OCD. Maryland Public Schools, job well done.

So be prepared for the most highly evolved close minded tirades brought to you by Blogger care of Google!! Keep in mind I will chastise Betty for the colored jokes as those will actually get someone killed. Mostly her.

You hear that Betty? No colored jokes...